LISTSERV 16.5 - ARLIS-L Archives

On Tue, May 20, 2014 at 11:53 AM, Joan Benedetti <[log in to unmask]> wrote:

Love this Ray. Seems like it might be the seed of a small limited edition publication. --Joan

From: ARLIS/NA List [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Raymond Smith
Sent: Tuesday, May 20, 2014 6:25 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: [ARLIS-L] Overblown book descriptions #3

For some time now I’ve been collecting book descriptions found while browsing ABE, E-Bay and other on-line sites, inspired by the New Yorker‘s Ho-Hums (quotes from out-of-the way newspaper articles and headlines, followed or headed by New Yorker’s wry comment).

Hopefully these will provide some chuckles.

 My comments appear in bold. As I’m not sure if the bold will come through, to distinguish my comment from the original, I’ve placed the original in quotation marks; any misspellings, e.g., rup for rip, wit for with, are not mine.

Ray Smith

R.W. Smith Bookseller
New Haven

 Here’s the new selection:

“If held to the nose, it has a slight musty smell. At normal reading distance, it has no smell.”

Unless it’s someone else’s nose.

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(For the earing impaired):

“Hardcover. Book Condition: POOR. A readable copy. Quite a bit of ear and creasing.”

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Dust jacket fever?

“Dust Jacket Condition: good. First printing. SIGNED. . . . First edition, 1972. Cloth hardcover in dust jacket, unpaginated, illustrated (some in color), clean unmarked text, Good copy in Good dust jacket, dust jacket attached to dust jacket, soiling or discoloration to the outer pages, wear to the covers of the book, soil and discoloration to the dust jacket, rubbing and wear to the dust jacket including tearing and loss. Relevant items laid in.”

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WARNING:

“Book Condition: Very Good. Like new except for small rup in jacket Used books may come from a household where smoking cats eat peanuts. We don't know. and the items do not come wit a medical chart. With other words: We can not support or prevent your allergies. If in doubt - buy new - returns of USED items will NOT be accepted anymore for the reason: Smells of smoke, or similar.”

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“1962 PRINTING CACKY CLOTH W/GOLD LETTERING HARDCOVER. FILLED WITH BEAUTIFUL SKETCHES OF HANDSOME BLACK INDIVIDUALS THROUGHOUT.”

Cacky? Are you sure you did not mean TACKY?

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Useful information No. 3. The importance of association copies.

“A crisp/clean and scarce item. This was bought-in by us recently from the estate of the church architect Janet Gnosspelius, of the elite student group at the Liverpool School of Architecture, also daughter of the sculptress Barbara Collingwood and the geologist Oscar Gnosspelius. The fly leaf bears her ownership signature. Most members of the interrelated Collingwood and Gnosspelius families played inspirational parts in Arthur Ransome's writings. Arthur Ransome had once proposed to Janet's mother, without success, but he still dedicated Old Peter's Russian Tales (1916) to her. Janet modelled for the drawing of Nancy Blackett of the Swallows and Amazons books.”

Do any of them know Kevin Bacon?

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Two different books surprisingly alike:

1. “An illustrated guide to tattoo.. . . TAJ Books International LLP, 2011. Particularly and surprisingly well-preserved; tight, bright, clean and especially sharp-cornered.“

2. “Clarice Bean, guess who’s babysitting? Candlewick Press, 2011. Particularly and surprisingly well-preserved; tight, bright, clean and especially sharp-cornered.”


So well-preserved for books published as far back as 2011. It must be those sharp corners that keep those tattooists and babysitters at bay.

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Useful information no. 5:

“This book is shelved in the Art by Artist section of our retail store and may require extra shipping time.”

Translation: It may require extra time for us to find it.

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Useful information no. 7:

“Yes indeed, this 454 page beauty which contains 60 plates, being an increasingly well respected and energetically applauded offering it is proudly presented with great and well deserved hubris . . . in the publishers ORIGINAL binding. Said binding being magnificently ornate red gilt graphics and titles on blazing red cloth. And this baby is rock solid, tight and clean, AAA all the way, save for thwe very slightest rubs to corners and spine ends, totally unnoticeable. On the cover is a totally detailed gold embossed design of the facade of the museum, still bright. TEG and still bright also. Alas, when all is said and done and the proverbial geese have come home to nest or roost, or whatever, and you're ready to decide to invest some of your hard-earned cash in this lofty offering, please consider that this book does indeed have the four absolute uppermost qualities we. . . since 1931 have always sought, and demanded, in books: 1) excellence in content, 2) literary quality, 3) appealing design, and 4) significance of contribution. Another great altruistic offering opportunity for us and an even greater opportunity for self-actualized reception on your part. But enough of the lugubrious however allegorically wise jaw-jacking, enough said of the telluric parameters of select . . . offerings such as this one which take on a life of their own and speak so very loudly for themselves. Read to learn and enjoy; go forth to share and enjoin. Research, analysis, dissertation, lucubrations or just enjoyment, this is the one. ACTUAL BOOK FOR SALE PICTURED. PLEASE DOUBLE CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE. And even if you're not interested at this time, THANKS for looking!. Artsy Hardcover.

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How to write a book description, lesson no. 1:

“Book Description: Book Condition: Used: Good. One of the Illustrated Handbooks of Practical Art 149 pp w/index, lots of Chinese exportPublisher: Sampson, Low, Marston Place of Publication: London/New York Date of Publication: 1883 Edition: 1st Am Edition Binding: Hardbound Condition: Stiff boards, ex-library, incredibly great line engraving illust Keywords: China/Japan, English, Corea/Korea, German/French Bookseller Inventory # PENNINK000393I”

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good is preferable to poor, so buy it!:

“This book is in good shape; spine ends & corners chipped, edgeworn, boards & textblock edges lightly soiled, front board cracked at gutter, rear board starting, bookplate to front pastedown, small ink stamp to half title page & preface, previous owner's name to front free endpaper, half title page & front blank, tissue paper at frontis piece missing, tiny chip to table of contents page, pages 83, 84 + plate reglued, bottom corner of pages 115- 118 creased.”

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Limitations thrown to the wind:

“Hardbound, limited to 100 copies of which this is copy #207”

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Mail submissions to [log in to unmask] For information about joining ARLIS/NA see: http://www.arlisna.org/join.html Send administrative matters (file requests, subscription requests, etc) to [log in to unmask] ARLIS-L Archives and subscription maintenance: http://lsv.arlisna.org Questions may be addressed to list owner (Judy Dyki) at: [log in to unmask]
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